Sometimes I forget to remember that a child’s mind is pure wonder. Everything is new and amazing and wide eyed wonder.

She is sugar and spice and raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens. When she is joyous, she exudes joy. When she is upset, she crumbles completely. She has all the emotions but very little of how to handle them. Excitement, happiness, zeal, fear, pain, longing all fill her to the top and spill over to whomever is near. To share or to shelter.

And lo, does she give me all the emotions. Love, happiness, hope, frustration, and fear. Fear is what anchors the cup of parenthood. The weight at the bottom that keeps it stable. Because to try to grasp what really, really is the Mommymaxineytionship, you have to confront the gripping fear that is being without it. I try not to go too many rounds with sober thoughts such as these but every parent knows they are there. Always. Not like a grim shadow, but just the darker bit of the mix that makes up the thickest, gooiest, richest love that a mommy and a baby heart did ever know.

She is everyday awesome. And she’s got big eyes for this world. And a tiny hand that brings me along.